Coping with Grief
With the recent and untimely death of Nipsey Hussle, I think that it's only right that we talk about mourning. Let me just say that I wasn't a huge fan like my fiance, but I was very familiar with Nipsey Hussle and his contributions to the community and music industry. His recent homegoing only made me think about how we handle death.
Fortunately, I've only had to deal with one close family member passing that still makes me sad to this day.
"But, as we get older death becomes more of an inevitable conversation whether it's in close proximity to us or we hear about how it affects our friends, acquaintances and distant family."
Regardless of how close I may have been with someone, dealing with their passing is never easy, but here is what has helped me mourn:
Time - Whoever said time heals all wounds lied. But time does make it easier to deal with someone's passing. The wounds hurt less but you'll never forget. If you are mourning, take your time. You don't have to rush through this process for anyone.
Spirituality - I know this sounds cliche but I truly believe that when someone dies, they're spirit goes on to a better place. Regardless of your religion or spirituality, believing in something makes mourning much easier.
Brief Isolation - You all know that I love alone time any day but during mourning it is especially needed. Needing company is quite normal as well but spending time alone can help just as much. Meditating, reading a book or just enjoying nature can provide some balance.
Last week was extremely tough for me. Like Iesha, I wasn’t a huge fan of Nipsey’s music. But, I admired the man that he was. He helped and motivated so many people to aim higher. Whether it was through his music or personal efforts, he was a man of the people.
His untimely death made me so sad. It was a rabbit hole, at first, I would think about Nipsey. Then, black people and how all too often our lives get cut short permanently. It was overwhelming feeling, to think no matter what this can happen to you.
Fortunately, I had these things to help me through it:
Therapy - I go to therapy twice a month, and it is a God send. Having the opportunity to work through your emotions, past, and plan your future with a non-bias professional has done wonders for my personal and professional growth.
Family + Friends - This past weekend was filled with celebrations of life. My friend’s birthday, and two of my closest friends had baby showers. It was so refreshing to be around the people you love, for me it’s an instant energy recharge. I love my people and spending quality time with them has been the best remedy.
Prayer - I’m a firm believer in God, and his power. Through prayer, I’ve gained peace and a safe place for refuge. In this world, I will not have all of the answers but I’m content in leaning on somebody who does.
Friends, I encourage you to be gentle with yourself and others and make the most out of the time we have here.