Should You Move For Love?
Am I The Only One who won’t even move down the street if we no talking about marriage? Don’t get me wrong, I love LOVE as much as the next person. But, there has to be some type of boundaries. Too often, we’re quick to give a relationship (and I use that term loosely) everything we got. With no commitment, and no solid direction of where the union is going. Moving to another city/state is huge, especially if you have no family or friends there. Your only connection is your boyfriend/girlfriend, that’s way too much for me if we’re not talking marriage and ring sizes.
Not to play devil’s advocate but what if the relationship goes south, what happens next? Do you get kicked out, Do you try to build a life there, Do you go home??Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against long distance relationships. I actually enjoy them, it’s fun and thrilling. And I love to travel, so it’s right up my alley.
But I wouldn’t move across state lines, unless we’re serious about being in a committed relationship FOREVA (Cardi B voice). On a local level, I’m also not willing to move in with a man if we don’t plan to get married. Hear me out, I know bills is high and you spend most of your time with bae anyway. But, living together is the beginning of sharing a life and I’m not comfortable doing that unless we have long term plans.
I also don’t want to get stuck in the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, living together is practically living like your married and the notion of “ what’s going to change?” thinking comes in. That happens in situationships, and cohabiting relationships often. And I’m really just not trying to waste any of my precious time in my 20’s (or any age for that matter), like these my years to live it up. And if you not trying to lock it down, let me live alone in peace.
Am I The Only One who would move for love, under certain conditions of course. I actually did move for love, or at least that was part of the reason why I relocated back to Detroit. Not only did I get a job offer that was paying much more than what I was making in Chicago, the fact that my boyfriend and I were living in two different states motivated me to move as well. This wasn't the only time we had been separated. We basically spent our entire college careers making a long distance relationship work. Let me tell you, it isn't easy. I figured, if this was something that we were going to make work, we had to be serious. So after I got the job offer I packed up and moved back to the Motor City.
Everyone's relationship and situation won't be similar to mine. My boyfriend and I have a long term relationship so I was much more confident in my decision to move back home. I also have a lot of family and friends in Detroit, so I had a support system here rather than me picking up and moving to a new city. If you are thinking about making the move, here's what you should take into consideration.
1. Make sure you have an opportunity. "I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T, do you know what that mean?" I know you read that in your Webbie voice. My point is that you should always make sure that if you are picking up and leaving for your relationship, there's room for you to grow as well. Rather it be your own business, advancing your education or your career. If your relationship doesn't work out, you'll have something to fall back on. I'm not shaming those who pick up and go then plan later.
To each his own - but there's nothing like having your own.
2. Make sure you have some form of a network. One of the reasons why I loved Chicago so much, was that I was able to tap into my sorority network. Wherever you decide to move, make sure you are able to build relationships with other people while you are there. The companionship of your significant other is great but we all know it's not the same as being around good friends.
3. Give yourself some space. If you decide to move away with your significant other, consider living separately. Living together might make more sense when it comes to finances but hear me out. When you all need space, where will you go? Moving to a different city also means finding your own way and learning more about yourself and it might be harder to do that when your consistently around the company of someone else. Sometimes you need to be alone to really focus on your own journey.
If your significant other decided to move, would you pack up too? Let us know in the comments below.