Am I The Only One who wants to be superwomen to everyone? No, I know I'm not. As a women, especially women of color, we constantly find ourselves solving everyone's problems. It's a natural thing to do. If you're anything like me, I'm sure you have a hard time saying "no" as well because you don't want to disappoint anyone. Well, if you're a people pleaser, it turns out that the only person that you end up disappointing is yourself.
I have a brutally honest childhood friend and we've kept each other around since middle school. We ended up going to the same high school as well and before the school year started we had an honest conversation with one another about what we should work on before the year started. I don't remember what I told her and I'm pretty sure whatever I said was a bunch of BS anyway. However, I do remember what she told me.
She told me "Don't let people walk all over you," or something along those lines.
That's when I knew she truly had my best interest at heart. I'm sure I didn't apply her advice in high school and throughout most of my years at college. It wasn't until I realized my value and that my happiness and health matter more than constantly being there for everyone else. I'm not saying that you can't put other people first but I am saying that there is a balance between tending to your needs first and knowing when to say "yes" and when to say "no." That's going to be different for everyone and that timing will change for everyone.
Am I the only woman who has had a hard time putting myself at the top of my life list? I wear many different hats in my family, friend circles, career and relationships that it could get a little draining. I am naturally impatient, which gets me in sticky situations. If I feel like it will take someone longer than I want to wait, I’ll do it myself. If I do not have the “time” to teach them how to do something, I just take on the task. When I care about somebody, whether that be my family or friends “I’m ten toes down”. I love very hard, and I want to make sure that they are happy and know that I care about them.
Did you realize I did not mention myself once? I was notorious for putting all the people and things I loved before myself, and I was suffering because it. I was SICK AF, all the time because I was always on the go. So that meant no rest, no exercise, and bad foods. A recipe for disaster, I ended up getting sick.
While lying in a hospital bed I decided that if I don’t take care of myself then all of this “love and support” I was giving everything/(body) else would be all for nothing.
As I wrap up my story, do not get the wrong idea about my friends and family. They loveeeeee me, but I am great at putting on my strong I don’t need no help face (I’ve been doing it all my life). So with all of this being said, my life list has shifted. It goes as follows GOD, My health in all forms (body, mind, relationships, and finances), my aspirations – career & blog, my loved ones! I am still a ride or die, but I just added myself to the top of my list.